First waxing experience

I had my first encounter with waxing today....

My roommate waxed my face and everything. Smooth as a babies butt. And then I did a brazilian. And I almost cried. But now I'm hair free and happy :)

We also did our laundry and it was ghetto as fuck, and we went to KMart and I got hella cheap v-necks.

And my phone is also broken now, because I accidently washed it with my laundry :/ FML. My dad wasn't super pissed about it though, so I hope it either works or I can get a free one. I really don't want to make him pay for a new one. I always feel shitty about asking for money, and I know he'll give it to me, I just feel bad. I can't wait until the day when I'm financially independent and don't have to rely on anyone. Unfortunatly that won't be fore a while :/

I still have homework due for my class in 9 hours. I'm really not sure what it is either :/

My upper lip hurts. It's all red and puffy. I hope I don't look weird tomorrow with a puffy face. lol.

-Liz

...

I wanted to mean everything to you, but this isn't right. You keep coming back disassembled and I keep loosing this fight.

Everyone around me says that I'm the cause of all their crying, and when they're drunk I pour the wine.

I've been listening to Emery all day, and loving it. I want to dance. My roommates and I all just had a really intense talk about how we get bored and depressed with the city sometimes. I want something to excite me. My mom called me today to tell me that people are shit and I should start growing Rosemary. haha. I'm not sure what got into her today, but she was full of "wisdom." I love my mom. Lately I really don't think that anyone cares anymore. I think I'm just in this alone. I'm not looking forward to Christmas. Sometimes I feel really alone and think that things are different now and they'll never be the same, and I'm ok with that. But then sometimes my family just pulls me back in and treats me like nothing's happened, and everything is ok. I understand I'm on my own. People don't need to pretend like everything is ok when it's not. I'm an adult, I can handle it. I understand that out of everyone in my family I'm the one that nothing is expected out of. They treat me like I'm stupid, like I don't understand they're making fun of me to my face. It's been like that my whole life. I've always been treated differently because I wasn't as smart as everyone else, or instead of being into science and math, I was into music. So what if instead of studying like my cousins I was out partying and making stupid desicions? I've learned from my fucking mistakes, and I'm a stronger person because of that. I don't think they know I remember every situation that they have ever said anything about me, and I don't forget. I hear every word. I don't just hear them, I actually LISTEN. I just think it's funny because everyone in my family thinks I care. They think I don't realize they treat me differently. I'm not blind. I'm not stupid. And quite frankly I don't care. But then again, I just wrote a lot about that, so maybe I do care? I just don't care about caring anymore. My emotions are used up. I'm emotionless. No heart, no feelings, no opinions. Just me.

Ohhh dreams....

So I always have O.K. dreams, nothing special. But I just woke up from the craziest dream ever. I'm in such a great mood now.

In my dream I was talking to the girl that I like and I finally was just like "Do you want to go out?" and she was like "yea :)" so we went to Cedar Point (remember it's a dream), and we were having a great time, and it was awesome, and while we were there we were listening to the radio (remember, still a dream haha) and Britney Spears was on the radio, so I called in and got through, and she was like "our radio show is over so this won't be on air, but we can talk if you want" and I was like cool! So we were talking and Brit asked where I was from and I told her Ohio, and she told me that if I drove down to Louisiana for her concert, she'd give me backstage passes and then she added me on facebook and told me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. And then I woke up with a huge smile on my face, and I'm listening to Circus, haha. What a lovely dream.

I kind of want to know what it means though. Does that mean that I don't like that girl as much as I think I do? Or does it mean that I'm obsessed with Britney Spears? Because honestly she's not at the top of my list. Kind of random.

Now I'm going out for my morning cigarette and wishing I had something fun and exciting to do today.

Every drawing that I drew was never ever as cute as you

"I've been assuming everything
Hoping you'll soon mean everything
I've gotta stay calm, I want this to be real
I don't think you're into me
And truly that's okay with me
I've gotta stay calm and find out how you feel

If you wanna say "I like you"
I might feel just like you
If you choosee not to
I knew you would

Sometimes I think I am out of my league
And then sometimes I think I can dream
Sometimes I wish I could be the one fish
That you choose out of all in the sea"



^Story of my life. :/




The city is boring me lately. It's summer and it's supposed to be fun and there's supposed to be so much going on, but there's not. Sure there's always the parties, but that gets kind of old. I want to do something really cool. Like skydiving. That'd be awesome. I've felt very 'blah' lately. I need something to pick me up and grab my attention. Maybe it's the depression? Maybe it's because I'm a boring person? I'm really not sure, but I have the apartment to myself today, and I'm pretty sure that means I will be laying on the couch all day watching movies :)