The consonants and vowels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Twt47iNAo&feature=related


Sometimes I listen to songs and think about moments in life that would fit to the sound if it was in a soundtrack of my life.

I remember when I was little I used to have hundreds of little plastic dinosaurs, jungle animals, and just different fish and things, and I would spend all day lining these animals around my kitchen from smallest to largest. And then as soon as the hundreds were set up, I would leave them till after dinner, and just take them down. Then do it again next week, or whenever again the mood struck me.

Or the days when one of my biggest annoyances was when I couldn't wear my rollerblades inside. While my parents were at work I would always just do it anyways, because I didn't want to take them off just to go in and get a cup of water. I always thought I was clever, but parents always know. They know about everything. Because they already tried to do it with their parents.

I was always convinced when I grew up I was never going to go to college. I've always not been able to stay still long enough to pay attention and stay somewhere. Which is why living in the same town for 18 years was so good for me. I learned to have to deal with things even if I can't handle them. I love it here more than anything, but I'm always looking for something new. College is awesome and I love it, and I know I want to finish college, but I need something else going on. I need to always have something new going on. And I think this is a good time for something new to possibly start.

There's never an end to anything. Its just a new beginning with new opportunities, and that thrills me. Knowing that nothing is ever over and I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I love it. I want to do everything. I'm feeling so optimistic. I wish I could just study so then maybe I could make plans with someone and actually do something today. Haha. Who cares if I don't even get dressed today?? I just woke up 3 hours ago. I don't have to get dressed if I don't want to. Fuck it. I'm an adult. I don't have to get dressed and look nice for anyone. I'm sitting here in a white t and sweat pants and I'm going to eat cereal and ice cream for dinner. And it's going to be awesome. And I'm going to watch the secret world of alex mac. And wish that I was a puddle that could go around the city.

I fucking love life. Thank you.


-Liz

All the pieces fit together

Sometimes all the pieces just fit together and make sense.

It all just makes so much sense, each odd part just completing the puzzle, and everything just fitting so snug that you look back and can't believe you completed it.

Each bump along the way just adds to the ride and makes it more of an adventure. Life is about the chase, I've decided, and each "broken heart" along the way or "lost crush" is what makes up the marvelous part of love.

I know I repeat a lot of things, but sometimes I can't believe how awesome and put together this world is. Each person having they're own little role and playing their own part makes up this beautiful picture that has no reason to make sense, but somehow just completes everything.

I think of all the bad times I've gone through and how sometimes life can just seem so pointless and almost depressing, but then it's these awesome times like this that make me realize the human mind is an amazing thing and so powerful and useful and wonderful that it can explore such amazing theory's and grasp these concepts that have no reason to be. But everything has a purpose, whether it's the answer your looking for or not, everything makes us and our ideas and to be given the opportunity to be a person that is born with nothing to really hold us back and just let our minds wonder and explore the vast universe is just such an amazing concept that I want to grasp it and hold onto it and learn so much more about it that words can't even express what I feel.

Peoples emotions, natural reactions, behavior, qualities, morals, facial expressions, manorisms, are just so interesting to me. The human mind is so complex and so many things create the uniqueness of who you are now. All of us being over 18 are now considered "adults" and just knowing that this is your mind, this is who you are, this is what you're given and this is the hand you have to play is so amazing. It's all one big challenge and experince. You play the wrong card and you learn from your mistakes and try and count the cards, but as we all know, that isn't 100% efficient, and sometimes you make mistakes, loose all your chips, and have to start over fresh. You may already be in the hole and figure if you loose it all again it was just a waste of time, but being given the second chance and being able to give it another try and just go for it is all I want.

Some countries and religions or cultures don't respect the individual mind. You are what society decides you are and you aren't expected or influenced to expand your mind and beliefs and experience what other cultures may believe is "normal". I just can't grasp the fact that I have been brought up in such a great country and been encouraged to follow my heart and not my head.

This is totally just me rambling and probably makes no sense. That is probably why I should chill out on the partying a little. lol. I just love social situates, peoples personalities, and just everything that makes up our little awkward world and adds spice to it all. Every day is different, a new breath of fresh air, and is just another day that we can be reminded of what a great society we've been given the opportunity to live in.

Still confused.

I'm still confused as to why I keep setting myself up for failure. Why do I pick the person I can't have? I still feel like I have a chance. But I know deep down it will never work out. Even if I'm given a shot. It's just not meant to be. So why can't I just find the one? Why do you have to be so perfect but yet so unobtainable?

I just question why I talk to my close friends about this and they say "oh it will pass.. just find someone else." I don't want someone else. I want you. All of you. Everything. The good and the bad. Why do I have to feel this way for someone I knew from the beginning it would never work out. I knew that it would never work out. Why did I even try? For the chase. The chase is what it's all about. But after a while the chase gets old and I don't want to be in it for that anymore. Why can't two opposites attract? I know opposites attract!! So, why can't opposites attract in this case?

I look at things from my point of view and see how everything is so perfect and if everything fell into place it would just work out so perfectly and everyone would end up happy. But then I step back and look at it and deep down I know that the pieces never fall where they're supposed to. Everything can change in a moment and you can't plan on anything. So why do I keep banking on the fact that everything will fall PERFECTLY where I want it too? Nothing is perfect, and after 18 years of life I should realize this and know better than betting on all my chips on one thing is stupid and just a waste of time, but I guess I just never learn from my mistakes, which just happens to be one of my faults. But I'm just too impulsive and think with my heart instead of with my head.

I know what I feel. And I know that people can look in from the outside and say what I'm feeling is something else, and deep down I know that I'll get over it, but why can't I get over it right now? Why does it mean the world to me right now? I totally understand what I'm feeling, but WHY CAN'T I HAVE IT???


I guess in the end I know that all of this will make sense and everything will have a reason for me and every broken piece along the way will make me see the whole picture, but as of right now, it fucking sucks, and I don't want to have to wait. I never want to wait. I want what I want, and I want it right now. But I know that in the end it will all make sense, and every broken heart I've had along the way will make me realize how amazing my life is once all the pieces are put together.

I don't know what I'm feeling. No one ever knows what they're feeling. Even though I am SO SURE of what I am feeling right now, I know it will change. But I know eventually what I'm feeling will be true, and I can only put my faith in the good lord that something/someone will help me out along the way and help me onto the right path and guide me down the right path.

Intro

Well, My name is Liz Schmidt, and I'm from Hudson, Ohio, which is about 45 minutes south of Cleveland. I've lived in Hudson my whole life which I think is a good thing and also a bad thing. I love to hang out with friends, listen to music, and pretty much anything else that an average teenager does. I play bass, guitar, piano, and tuba.
I'm a fun and outgoing person and just love to have a good time.

2 truths and a lie.
I have "love" tattood on my lip.
My favorite book is The Catcher In The Rye.
I love the cold.